🧁 Recipe Assessment: Simple Mills Almond Vanilla Cupcake Mix
👩⚕️ Symptoms:
I needed dessert STAT but had no time to bake from scratch. A quick pantry exam revealed two patients: cupcake mix and brownie mix. I decided to admit them both. Today’s focus? The cupcakes. Since the recipe called for eggs, vanilla, oil, and water, I didn’t need to swap anything for gluten or dairy. Easy peasy.
🔬 Initial Examination:
Instructions were clear, concise, and not a medical mystery. I followed them exactly—no issues with my tissues. Mix is also Certified Gluten Free!
💊 Treatment Plan:
Whisked eggs, vanilla, oil, and water until combined.
Added mix and continued my arm workout (a.k.a. stirring like crazy—should’ve just used my mixer).
Scooped batter with my trusty ice cream scoop (75% full in liners).
Baked at 325°F for about 20 minutes.
⚠️ Side Effects:
• Mild right-arm soreness from whisking 💪
• Batter splatter (thankfully I was wearing an apron)
• Note to self: mixers exist for a reason.
📈 Prognosis:
☹️ First-ever bradycardia diagnosis. These cupcakes just didn’t get my heart racing. They were dense, not very sweet, and without frosting, they fell flat for my sweet tooth. My husband wasn’t impressed either, and at the party… let’s just say the brownies disappeared, but these cupcakes were left untouched in the waiting room.
🩺 Final Diagnosis:
If you love almond flour and a less-sweet, wholesome vibe, these might be your match. For me? Nah. I need my desserts to spark a little tachycardia. Sorry, cupcakes—you failed your check-up. However, was on sale for $7.99:)
Always live safe/happy/healthy
